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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/27253810">Breathe</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrollingKingfisher/pseuds/ScrollingKingfisher'>ScrollingKingfisher</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Critical Role (Web Series)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Blood and Injury, Cameos by the rest of the nein, Gen, Magical Healing gone Wrong, Major Character Injury, Surgery</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-28</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-07 00:40:57</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Graphic Depictions Of Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,596</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/27253810</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScrollingKingfisher/pseuds/ScrollingKingfisher</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The fish creature glanced up at Caleb, and as their eyes met, he saw only fury and malice in their depths. Its too-wide mouth stretched into an evil smile. It reached for its weapon as Yasha’s blade descended. He tried to step away, but time was moving too slowly. As Yasha swung down, it lunged upwards. </p>
<p>The harpoon rammed itself into his abdomen. </p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>125</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Breathe</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span><br/><br/>Avantika might have been dead, but apparently, Uk’atoa wasn’t done with them yet.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They had been attacked again at night. This time, however, they had been ready- they might not be able to set up the mansion onboard, but they knew better than to sleep separately with both creatures of the deep and possibly Vess and the rest of the Assembly to worry about.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb was awoken by the </span>
  <em>
    <span>ping </span>
  </em>
  <span>of his broken alarm spell, only for the rest to be roused half a second later by a scream as one of the crew got caught in the crossfire. Then came the hideous screech that they had last heard from the fish creatures that they had fought on the Ball Eater. Beau grunted a curse as she staggered upright, all of them clumsy as they tried to pull on winter clothes and armour with sleep-stiff fingers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Come on! Let’s go!” Fjord yelled, summoning his sword to his grasp.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>From then on, it was something of a blur- Beau and Yasha went charging ahead, Fjord hot on their heels, weapons already drawn. Caduceus hurried after him, staff already glowing, no doubt trying to avoid a repeat of the last time they had fought the fish creatures. Caleb nodded towards Veth and took to the stairs.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He emerged onto the deck to carnage. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His breath misted in the freezing air. Snow drifted through the air in thick, obscuring sheets. What little he could see of the waters below them was riddled with floes of treacherous ice. And there were fish creatures everywhere. One was in combat with Fjord, parrying his blows- another took a swing at his back, only to be knocked away by Beau’s fists. A screaming crew member got tossed over the side. Jester’s lollypop flew across his field of vision, pummelling a shrieking creature into the deck. One dropped back over the side as it tried to climb aboard, arrows sticking from its eye sockets. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But though there were more of them this time, Caleb knew that their team were more powerful now. He saw one of the mutated creatures raise a dripping crossbow towards Caduceus and his eyes narrowed. With a muttered word, a fireball flew from his hand, detonating in front of the creature and knocking it clear off the deck and back into the frigid waters below. Veth whooped from the shadows, darting past to find cover behind a pile of crates. Caleb cast around for another.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Over the sound of the waves, and the creaking ice, and the fighting, he didn’t hear the sound of the creature clambering over the railing. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a slight squelch of footsteps from directly behind him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb felt his heart jump into his throat. He whirled, an incantation on his lips, but it was already bearing down, harpoon raised, toothed maw open in a hissing grin. He raised his shield in reflex and the creature shrieked in frustration as the blow glanced off, sending him staggering back. Then it shrieked again, this time in pain, and with a surge of relief Caleb caught sight of Yasha behind it with her teeth bared in rage, her sword trailing an arc of blood.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was down, writhing on the deck at his feet. Caleb watched almost in slow motion as Yasha swung back, coming in for the final strike. The fish creature glanced up at him, and as their eyes met, he saw only fury and malice in their depths. And then its too-wide mouth stretched into an evil smile. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It reached for its weapon as Yasha’s blade descended. He tried to step away, but time was moving too slowly. As Yasha swung down, it lunged upwards. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The harpoon rammed itself into his abdomen. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The initial pain punched through Caleb like a lightning bolt. A white-out firestorm of agony. He felt as it stabbed upwards into him, </span>
  <em>
    <span>through </span>
  </em>
  <span>him, skewering him from his navel to the bottom of his lungs. He staggered back, away from where he thought the creature still was, but that made it worse. Where was Yasha? There was sound around him, shouting, alarmed yells. He was dizzy. He should sit down, he needed to sit down-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>His knees crumpled. The point of the harpoon jolted, drove itself deeper in. All the breath was driven out of him and he wheezed, choking on it, tasting blood and on his tongue, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Götter, bitte lass es aufhören-</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was damp. Rain, on his face. He opened his eyes and the mast swung above him, the start out of focus and distant. Planks hard against his back. He was on the floor, how did he get here? Someone was shouting, far, far away. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw shit! Someone get Jester!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Caleb? Caleb!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“The fuckers impaled him. Here, help me, we need to get it out!”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Hands on him. Holding him down. A woody crack, a twist, a wrench, and something shifted against his insides. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>burned</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Caleb gagged as the bottom half of the harpoon slithered out of his flesh with an awful sicking sound, struggling weakly against the restraining hands, darkness speckling itself across his vision. There was more wet, hot across his skin, seeping down his sides in rivers.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Aw shit, keep that pressure on! Where the hell is she? Jester!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There were hands now, hands and they were pressing- the pain increased a thousand fold. Caleb felt his body jerk, felt a weak scream try to leave him, bubbling out of him in a gush of sound and blood. Red spots flashed on the inside of his eyelids. He was choking, he could feel it, every raspy breath drowning in his own hot insides, but he was so cold...</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh my gosh!! Caleb, oh no, don’t worry, I’ll make it better, here we go,”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Jester, no, wait, not completely, it’s not-!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Warmth bloomed inside his chest, radiating up his throat and through his limbs, washing away the pain. He shuddered, then fell limp. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>The world faded and pulsed in throbs, and he was floating, suspended just below the sky.  </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>He wasn’t quite sure how long it was until he came back to himself. He blinked his eyes open. There was water on his face. The stars were clear again, bright pinpricks against the black. And Jester was leaning over him, tears in her eyes and shaking from suppressed sobs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb frowned, trying to reach up to her. Her eyes snapped to his, and she tried to hide it, taking his hand with a shaky smile. “Caleb?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ya… I…” There was still something strangely breathless in his chest. Like his lungs were three sizes too small. Like they couldn’t hold air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“No, no, don’t try to talk.” Jester clasped his hand between hers and he tried to squeeze it, tried to reassure her about whatever was making her so terribly sad. “So, Caleb… I need to talk to you.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb nodded, trying to convey with his eyes that whatever it was, it was fine.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She sniffed, letting go with one hand so she could wipe her eyes. “So you got really, really stabbed, yeah? Like, super duper stabbed. And I heard the others shouting, and Caduceus was down, so I ran across the deck as soon as they were dead and there was so much blood so I healed you all up! Except,” her voice wobbled, “I… I’m so, so sorry, Caleb. I didn’t realise… I…”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He squeezed her hand. She took a shaky breath, meeting his eyes. “I healed it into you. The harpoon tip, it’s still in there.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her eyes darted down. Caleb followed them, tracing down his chest, his abdomen, all streaked with terrifying amounts of blood, to a new scar. Pink new skin. Perfectly sealed shut.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Ah. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a sip of air, deliberately shallow. He winced- he could feel it now he knew what it was. An obstruction, a foreign presence heavy in his gut, grating at the edges of his lungs. An assassin moving with every push and pull of his diaphragm, lodged deep, just waiting for the opportunity to cut him to ribbons from the inside. He knew what the insides of a human body looked like- could well imagine it, the rusted metal encased in the soft, spongy, blood-rich tissues, moving as they expanded and contracted, its violent entry patched up, sealed within them. For now. If he moved too fast, too far, in the wrong direction… the thumping of his heart picked up. He took another sip of breath, deliberately measured. He couldn’t panic. He had to stay calm.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He felt Jester try and pull away and grasped her hand tight. “Not your fault,” he managed to whisper.    </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord loomed into his field of vision. “Hey, Caleb. Jes, we’ve talked with Cad, he says he’s got just enough healing to do it tonight, but we should probably move downstairs. I think it’s gonna start snowing again and we don’t want exposure too.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Jester took a deep breath, visibly pulling herself together. “Yeah. Alright. Okay, okay, okay, we’re doing this.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>She stood, and Yasha took her place, squatting down on the deck beside him, concern in her mismatched eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m going to move you now, okay?” she asked, voice soft. He nodded.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Her strong arms slid under his shoulders, behind his knees. She lifted, and momentarily Caleb was weightless, hoisted almost effortlessly into the air.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>But then he felt his knees slip an inch, his body folding just slightly, and his lungs erupted back into flame. Something tore. Iron burst onto the back of his tongue and he tensed and arched, trying to make it stop, trying to get away but that only made it worse- he was gagging, gagging, choking spluttering coughing but it wouldn’t come up-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Okay, okay I’ve got you now! Sorry sorry sorry, can someone…?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Warmth flowed through him again. His body fell limp. The pain died back down to a throb. He gargled out a breath of relief, feeling blood flowing down his chin, and let himself float again.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They somehow made it to a cabin. Caleb felt it as he was lowered onto the sheets, soft against his back. He closed his eyes again as he felt the others murmuring and moving around him. His whole chest and abdomen throbbed. He tried to ignore it.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Mister Caleb?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He opened his eyes. Caduceus was hovering over him. Caleb let out a slow breath. “What… is the plan?”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Ah. The plan is, we’re going to have to extract it from you, and unfortunately we won’t be able to knock you out for it.” </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb closed his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m sorry. Myself and Jester are going to need all of our spells for healing,” Caduceus explained. “This is going to be unpleasant, I’m afraid.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I understand,” Caleb whispered. “It needs to come out.”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
  <span>Caduceus gave him one more reassuring smile.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Beau clapped her hands from somewhere behind him. “Alright! Let’s get this over with!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>They all bustled into action. Yasha was holding down his legs, Beau taking one arm, Fjord the other. Caduceus sat himself behind him on the bed, pressing both large palms against his head, his fingers long enough to span his skull. Veth wiped the blood off his stomach with careful gentleness, then wriggled up next to Caduceus to hold his hand. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Do you want some of my flask? It might help numb it a bit...”</span>
  <span>
    <br/>
  </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Better not,” said Caduceus without looking up from his meditation, “we don’t want him to throw up halfway through. Asphyxiation and acid would be bad.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Veth still looked torn. Caleb tried to smile at her as reassuringly as he could. “Don’t worry… high pain tolerance.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then Jester appeared in the corner of his vision. She had pulled herself together, her eyes still red but now full of steely determination. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And in her hand, she grasped a knife. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Caleb tensed. He couldn’t help it. His vision focused in on the point of it, gleaming in the light of the gas lamps. For a second, he wasn’t on the Balleater- he was in that tower in Rexxentrem, and he was strapped to a chair, and Trent Ikathon was looking down at him with a smile on his face and a knife in his hand. </span>
  <em>
    <span>‘Now now, Bren, is this weakness? Keep your arm still. No screaming now, there’s a good boy…’</span>
  </em>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Caleb? Caleb!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Concerned murmurs resonated around him. The harpoon tip pressed up warningly between his lungs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I’m fine!” he gasped, eyes screwed shut. It wasn't him it was Jester. <em>Jester.</em> He had to relax, he had to relax- “Just do it! Please. Please get it over with.”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a pause.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then a sharp new point of pain ran from just under his ribs to his belly in one neat, burning slash. He yelled, twisted, but he was held tight. Then it slashed again, deeper, through tissue and muscle, and he couldn’t hold back the scream that grated past his vocal chords. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He tensed. His muscles pulled wrong and there was a rip, deep inside. And suddenly the pain stabbed through his spine and impaled him to the bed by his lungs. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Quickly, Jester, quickly!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Caleb!? Caleb!”</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Veth was calling him, but Caleb couldn’t answer. He was lost. He caught snatches-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Hot iron bubbling up the back of his throat-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Fjord’s face, white as a sheet-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>His guts twisting, a storm of pain as something shoved inside-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Trying to cough, choke, vomit, get away, anything-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The blue of Jester’s arms gloved in red up to the elbows-</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“There! I think I got it-”</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The harpoon tugged. It </span>
  <em>
    <span>tore,</span>
  </em>
  <span> but then it lodged tight. Caleb </span>
  <em>
    <span>tried to scream</span>
  </em>
  <span>. Then he choked. More blood, drowning, dark spots blooming in his vision again, he tried to fight but no escape- </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was one terrible final </span>
  <em>
    <span>rip,</span>
  </em>
  <span> and something gave. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>It was gone. Out. He had one half second of relief.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>And then he tried to take a breath. Nothing. He pulled, mouth gaping, but there was no air, his lungs were empty, empty, empty, shredded, his body was burning, his head spinning-</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Warmth flowed into him from the hands clamped around his head. It shot through his veins, mending as it went, sealing the rips and the tears, leaving him raw and aching and new. His lungs inflated so fast they spasmed, his screaming body sucking in air frantically, over and over. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He took a deep, shuddering breath. And another. And another. Until he was dizzy.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was sound, but it was indistinct and way, way over his head. He closed his eyes. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>…</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>When he woke, it was to the pale light of dawn creeping in through the porthole, pressing against his eyelids. There was something warm pressed against his side. Another against his legs. He squinted open his eyes.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He was on his back on the bed in the Nein’s quarters. Jester was tucked against his side, frowning in her sleep. Her horns were digging into his shoulder. Veth hugged his knees. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Turning his head, he saw Fjord and Caduceus on the floor, limbs tossed haphazardly over one another. Beau was sat upright in a chair, her arms crossed and head tilted back and her mouth wide open. A gentle snore wheezed out of her. Caleb smiled.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>Then he glanced down.</span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a new scar, long and thin and razor straight, the line of it bisecting him from sternum to belly button. He let his fingertips trace over the pink new skin absently for a minute. Such a fragile shell their bodies were. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>He lay back and let himself breathe.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
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